untitled

I've been contemplating on what to post today since I haven't posted for days now. Believe me I have attempted to post a lot of things but I think they're mostly emo stuff that I would like to keep to myself, for now.

I got out of the house yesterday and had a lot of fun with friends and my wish to eat out (or let's just say pig out) with them came true (YEHEY!). It was the first time since maybe graduation that I went out not to do errands but just "laag" or hang-out for a while. It was a nice ice breaker from my daily routine as an unemployed graduate.

I haven't had any new photos lately for let's just say that my camera doesn't like me anymore (HAHAHA).

missing school life (part 2)

Another thing that I miss about school life (my school life that is) is dining/pigging out with my friends. 

Yes, I miss eating these calorie-filled meals with my friends. I miss over-staying at a restaurant while laughing so hard without caring if people are staring at us already. I miss those "meetings" we do when deadlines are near. I miss ordering online for a fastfood delivery during overnights. I miss... the list can just go on and on.

Gosh, I seriously miss college life but just like any other phase in life all of those are done they're all in the past now and I have to move on. 

missing school life

I went by my school (my old school since I have already graduated) today and well, I kinda miss those days of me being a student. I actually do. I miss patiently enduring those long lines just to get myself enrolled. I miss trying to wake up early to attend my classes and wishing that they'll end early too so that I can go home or hang out after. I miss running to the other building across the street for my next class without any time to spare. I miss eating at the canteen, I miss the smell of all the delectable food. I even miss the sleepless nights of cramming for a project within the last few hours of the 'deadline'. Gosh, I miss college (or shall I say my college life) but I guess like everything in this world it had ended and I have to move on and embrace my new life as an unemployed graduate (HAHA). 

The photo above is supposed to give an idea about what I miss at school or at least show a part of my old school. So hopefully it does. :)

@-@

okay, I'll write this down as fast as I can. I just really wanna save the intense feeling of fear, excitement and anxiety I'm simultaneously feeling now. Why you ask? It's because tomorrow is going to be our thesis presentation and panel defense. I seriously don;t know what to feel actually this should have been finished a few days ago but then it was rescheduled due to a thirty minute brown-out.

I know Maybe you'll ask why is she scared when it was supposed to be a few days a go, surely she's done with all the stuff she needs. WRONG. do you know the feeling when you actually see a lot of things lacking when something is postponed? yes, that's what happened to me. I seriously don't know what I'm writing now and I'm pretty sure that I;ll be laughing at this when I read it in the future so.... To my future self (forever alone mode on), you'll probably read this I just want to tell you, good luck with your defense and hope you'll make it through today in one piece. And yeah, whatever happens, just think that everything happens for a reason and just do your best always. and lastly you may hope for the best but still expect the worst thing that could happen so as not to make yourself get super disappointed. and yah future self.... Wenkwenk.

I don't want to write this entry

I don't want to write stuff about frustrations even if though I'm frustrated now. I don't want to sound like an annoying, super emotional b*****, and I don't want to list down all the things I don't want here...... but guess what, that is exactly what I'm doing now.

Yes! I have a lot of "don't wants" in my life. Who doesn't? No matter how I try to look for reasons, no matter how I try to understand things, no matter how I analyze things, I can't seem to convince myself into liking the stuff I don't.  

I usually try to not be affected with things not going well so that I won't get frustrated but sometimes I can't seem to hide the fact that I am. It's hard to keep on telling people that it's okay, that I'm okay because I'm not gonna be always okay.  and yet I still I tell them that I am so that I my stupid sadness, frustrations, and hurt won't have to bother them. I don't ...

Sometimes I want to shout  to let it all out, for the world to know what I feel and how I feel inside. But I always end up crying in my room all alone curled up like a snail. 

Just like anyone else, I dream to live a happy life even if I know that it can't always be bright sunshines and pretty rainbows. I want to be happy and live my life looking at the good things, the bright side of life but sadness I can't escape just like an unexpected drizzle in the midst of summer. however, I calm myself by hoping that after all the storm life throws at me there will be a time (hopefully soon) the sun will shine and everything will be okay.

my try on drawing faces

So yeah, I'm now trying to "learn" on how to draw faces. I can only do half of the face for now and they're not really that great but as they say practice makes perfect. Hopefully such saying will happen to my drawing skills... HAHAHA

So here goes nothing... ^-^

a few more weeks before summer vacation

I haven't posted in a while now and actually I thought I won't be posting anything until maybe April or something, since I made a self-imposed ban on blogging or the internet as a whole but excluding emails though :)). I know, a ban on "the internet" sounds a bit ridiculous but I actually did that to myself and I was kind of successful for a few days (HAHAHA). The reason? I want to concentrate on catching up on deadlines for schoolwork.

I actually went home for the weekend to work on my "projects". however, being there made me wish for summer to come fast forgetting that I still have a lot of work to do before I can experience it. Well, right now I'm back in the city again and being back is like a wake up call that I still got tons of things to do and I can't afford to waste my time anymore....

Hopefully, everything will be okay before summer gets here... so I can enjoy it.... :))