@-@

okay, I'll write this down as fast as I can. I just really wanna save the intense feeling of fear, excitement and anxiety I'm simultaneously feeling now. Why you ask? It's because tomorrow is going to be our thesis presentation and panel defense. I seriously don;t know what to feel actually this should have been finished a few days ago but then it was rescheduled due to a thirty minute brown-out.

I know Maybe you'll ask why is she scared when it was supposed to be a few days a go, surely she's done with all the stuff she needs. WRONG. do you know the feeling when you actually see a lot of things lacking when something is postponed? yes, that's what happened to me. I seriously don't know what I'm writing now and I'm pretty sure that I;ll be laughing at this when I read it in the future so.... To my future self (forever alone mode on), you'll probably read this I just want to tell you, good luck with your defense and hope you'll make it through today in one piece. And yeah, whatever happens, just think that everything happens for a reason and just do your best always. and lastly you may hope for the best but still expect the worst thing that could happen so as not to make yourself get super disappointed. and yah future self.... Wenkwenk.

I don't want to write this entry

I don't want to write stuff about frustrations even if though I'm frustrated now. I don't want to sound like an annoying, super emotional b*****, and I don't want to list down all the things I don't want here...... but guess what, that is exactly what I'm doing now.

Yes! I have a lot of "don't wants" in my life. Who doesn't? No matter how I try to look for reasons, no matter how I try to understand things, no matter how I analyze things, I can't seem to convince myself into liking the stuff I don't.  

I usually try to not be affected with things not going well so that I won't get frustrated but sometimes I can't seem to hide the fact that I am. It's hard to keep on telling people that it's okay, that I'm okay because I'm not gonna be always okay.  and yet I still I tell them that I am so that I my stupid sadness, frustrations, and hurt won't have to bother them. I don't ...

Sometimes I want to shout  to let it all out, for the world to know what I feel and how I feel inside. But I always end up crying in my room all alone curled up like a snail. 

Just like anyone else, I dream to live a happy life even if I know that it can't always be bright sunshines and pretty rainbows. I want to be happy and live my life looking at the good things, the bright side of life but sadness I can't escape just like an unexpected drizzle in the midst of summer. however, I calm myself by hoping that after all the storm life throws at me there will be a time (hopefully soon) the sun will shine and everything will be okay.

my try on drawing faces

So yeah, I'm now trying to "learn" on how to draw faces. I can only do half of the face for now and they're not really that great but as they say practice makes perfect. Hopefully such saying will happen to my drawing skills... HAHAHA

So here goes nothing... ^-^

a few more weeks before summer vacation

I haven't posted in a while now and actually I thought I won't be posting anything until maybe April or something, since I made a self-imposed ban on blogging or the internet as a whole but excluding emails though :)). I know, a ban on "the internet" sounds a bit ridiculous but I actually did that to myself and I was kind of successful for a few days (HAHAHA). The reason? I want to concentrate on catching up on deadlines for schoolwork.

I actually went home for the weekend to work on my "projects". however, being there made me wish for summer to come fast forgetting that I still have a lot of work to do before I can experience it. Well, right now I'm back in the city again and being back is like a wake up call that I still got tons of things to do and I can't afford to waste my time anymore....

Hopefully, everything will be okay before summer gets here... so I can enjoy it.... :))

1st day of march

It's finally March! It hit me, that time goes by so fast (really fast). It was as if everyone was still eagerly anticipating the month of hearts (e.i. February). And now March just marched in to my happy life.

March, would mean for me, that I have to work double time on things I have to do (e.i. thesis). I have to really concentrate now since the defense, presentation and what-nots are just days away from happening. -_- Yes, the thought of today being March 1 makes my butterflies and stomach rumble with stress. But I will certainly do my best to use the next three weeks to my advantage and hopefully succeed in this adventure I call "graduation". :)