untitled

I've been contemplating on what to post today since I haven't posted for days now. Believe me I have attempted to post a lot of things but I think they're mostly emo stuff that I would like to keep to myself, for now.

I got out of the house yesterday and had a lot of fun with friends and my wish to eat out (or let's just say pig out) with them came true (YEHEY!). It was the first time since maybe graduation that I went out not to do errands but just "laag" or hang-out for a while. It was a nice ice breaker from my daily routine as an unemployed graduate.

I haven't had any new photos lately for let's just say that my camera doesn't like me anymore (HAHAHA).

missing school life (part 2)

Another thing that I miss about school life (my school life that is) is dining/pigging out with my friends. 

Yes, I miss eating these calorie-filled meals with my friends. I miss over-staying at a restaurant while laughing so hard without caring if people are staring at us already. I miss those "meetings" we do when deadlines are near. I miss ordering online for a fastfood delivery during overnights. I miss... the list can just go on and on.

Gosh, I seriously miss college life but just like any other phase in life all of those are done they're all in the past now and I have to move on. 

missing school life

I went by my school (my old school since I have already graduated) today and well, I kinda miss those days of me being a student. I actually do. I miss patiently enduring those long lines just to get myself enrolled. I miss trying to wake up early to attend my classes and wishing that they'll end early too so that I can go home or hang out after. I miss running to the other building across the street for my next class without any time to spare. I miss eating at the canteen, I miss the smell of all the delectable food. I even miss the sleepless nights of cramming for a project within the last few hours of the 'deadline'. Gosh, I miss college (or shall I say my college life) but I guess like everything in this world it had ended and I have to move on and embrace my new life as an unemployed graduate (HAHA). 

The photo above is supposed to give an idea about what I miss at school or at least show a part of my old school. So hopefully it does. :)

@-@

okay, I'll write this down as fast as I can. I just really wanna save the intense feeling of fear, excitement and anxiety I'm simultaneously feeling now. Why you ask? It's because tomorrow is going to be our thesis presentation and panel defense. I seriously don;t know what to feel actually this should have been finished a few days ago but then it was rescheduled due to a thirty minute brown-out.

I know Maybe you'll ask why is she scared when it was supposed to be a few days a go, surely she's done with all the stuff she needs. WRONG. do you know the feeling when you actually see a lot of things lacking when something is postponed? yes, that's what happened to me. I seriously don't know what I'm writing now and I'm pretty sure that I;ll be laughing at this when I read it in the future so.... To my future self (forever alone mode on), you'll probably read this I just want to tell you, good luck with your defense and hope you'll make it through today in one piece. And yeah, whatever happens, just think that everything happens for a reason and just do your best always. and lastly you may hope for the best but still expect the worst thing that could happen so as not to make yourself get super disappointed. and yah future self.... Wenkwenk.

I don't want to write this entry

I don't want to write stuff about frustrations even if though I'm frustrated now. I don't want to sound like an annoying, super emotional b*****, and I don't want to list down all the things I don't want here...... but guess what, that is exactly what I'm doing now.

Yes! I have a lot of "don't wants" in my life. Who doesn't? No matter how I try to look for reasons, no matter how I try to understand things, no matter how I analyze things, I can't seem to convince myself into liking the stuff I don't.  

I usually try to not be affected with things not going well so that I won't get frustrated but sometimes I can't seem to hide the fact that I am. It's hard to keep on telling people that it's okay, that I'm okay because I'm not gonna be always okay.  and yet I still I tell them that I am so that I my stupid sadness, frustrations, and hurt won't have to bother them. I don't ...

Sometimes I want to shout  to let it all out, for the world to know what I feel and how I feel inside. But I always end up crying in my room all alone curled up like a snail. 

Just like anyone else, I dream to live a happy life even if I know that it can't always be bright sunshines and pretty rainbows. I want to be happy and live my life looking at the good things, the bright side of life but sadness I can't escape just like an unexpected drizzle in the midst of summer. however, I calm myself by hoping that after all the storm life throws at me there will be a time (hopefully soon) the sun will shine and everything will be okay.

my try on drawing faces

So yeah, I'm now trying to "learn" on how to draw faces. I can only do half of the face for now and they're not really that great but as they say practice makes perfect. Hopefully such saying will happen to my drawing skills... HAHAHA

So here goes nothing... ^-^

a few more weeks before summer vacation

I haven't posted in a while now and actually I thought I won't be posting anything until maybe April or something, since I made a self-imposed ban on blogging or the internet as a whole but excluding emails though :)). I know, a ban on "the internet" sounds a bit ridiculous but I actually did that to myself and I was kind of successful for a few days (HAHAHA). The reason? I want to concentrate on catching up on deadlines for schoolwork.

I actually went home for the weekend to work on my "projects". however, being there made me wish for summer to come fast forgetting that I still have a lot of work to do before I can experience it. Well, right now I'm back in the city again and being back is like a wake up call that I still got tons of things to do and I can't afford to waste my time anymore....

Hopefully, everything will be okay before summer gets here... so I can enjoy it.... :))

1st day of march

It's finally March! It hit me, that time goes by so fast (really fast). It was as if everyone was still eagerly anticipating the month of hearts (e.i. February). And now March just marched in to my happy life.

March, would mean for me, that I have to work double time on things I have to do (e.i. thesis). I have to really concentrate now since the defense, presentation and what-nots are just days away from happening. -_- Yes, the thought of today being March 1 makes my butterflies and stomach rumble with stress. But I will certainly do my best to use the next three weeks to my advantage and hopefully succeed in this adventure I call "graduation". :)

on happy endings

I have always loved happy endings. The type where the bright and shining sun always comes after a frightful, dark, stormy night. Yes, you can say that I'm a fan of happily ever afters, even though I know not everything will be. But, I find solace on the thought that maybe everything will go as planned and be a happy ending.

So, yeah I guess these thoughts come out when one is stressed... (HAHAHHA) Thesis. Thesis. Thesis. I Guess, no rather, I know, I have to work now to be able to finish you on time and hopefully we'll all end this course (fingers crossed) happily.

passing time - my way :)

I have been listening to these songs all day today. One is "Power of Two" by Indigo Girls and the other one is "Will of the Wind" by Jim Photoglo.

They're awesome songs to listen to. :)

....awes.... ome....

Just realized how awesome the people around me are (HAHAHA). They are a unique group of people that I don't think I'll find somewhere else (at least not for now). I mean, they're all unique in their own ways but for some reason we seem to get along pretty well. A friend even told me that, we have different kinds of likes and dislikes in terms of music, books, shows, and the like, but we never seem to clash and I hope that we never will. 

I don't know why, but we seem to laugh at almost anything, even at ourselves.... Like, what happened today we watched a film for a class, it was actually supposed to be a 'heart-warming film' and it actually was but for some reason we find ourselves side-commenting and just trying so hard to contain our laughs for our teacher was there (and I tell you it's pretty hard to stop oneself from letting out a laugh).

(HAHAHA) For some reason, right now I can't imagine myself not meeting these people. If I had taken another course, enrolled in another school, then I would have another set of friends, another lifestyle maybe even another me (?). I can only imagine meeting them somewhere else and not even bothering to talk to them since I don't really know them. I don't think I want that to happen though 'coz I don't wanna be the 'blitz'. :P Darn this senti moments... HAHAHA

if time travel is possible then.....

The notion of traveling through time has always intrigued me. I mean, who wouldn't be, right? I think it would be pretty cool if it is possible and I think I'm not the only one who thinks that way. I mean, would it not be awesome to go back in time to right the mistakes made in the past? It would certainly be great, right? Or would it? For if it's possible then all would've been perfect, right? Or would it ever be perfect?

Correcting the wrong would most certainly be one of the reasons why people would like to go back in time. However, if ever they did go back will they really right their mistakes? Or will they just do it all over again? And if they did correct their mistakes, would they be happy on the choice they made in the end? Given that humans don't usually get contented easily. I mean, one usually finds something that needs improving and what not.

Either way, I think time travel  is cool... But personally, I don't think I wanna go back in time to change things I'm contented with things just the way they are now.

the things we forgot

I came across one of my old journals today and I've re-read what I have written in the past. For some reason reading all those stuff again made me feel a bit proud of myself (HAHAHA). It was like, whoa I wrote this and it's nice? So, yes I'm feeling really proud of myself right now I can't stop smiling. :))

At times, I could be blown away with what I have done in the past. I mean, I think we all do right? Especially, those stuff we totally forgot about. Like my journal, I totally forgot about it or what was in it that I was surprised (in a good way) when I found it again.

I think, I wanna have another journal and write random stuff on it again. Then, maybe a few years after I'll be reading them again and it will once again make my day.

my self-made 'words of wisdom' :)

Its okay to be confused... It simply means that you're thinking about the problem...

drama

I hate those days when you feel so alone, the time when all your problems haunt your thoughts simultaneously and you have no one to talk those things to.  Well, this is one of those days. I’m a pessimist and I know that (but I don’t know if other people know it), though I do strive hard to think positively especially around people I care. I just don’t want them to worry that I myself am worrying. However, I think I also spill negative sides on things when it’s needed if not often enough (HAHA).

Like I said earlier, today was on of those I call "drama" days of my life when I ask myself the stupid question I have been bugging myself for four years now. Why did I decided to take this course in the first place? I don't think I'm cut out for this but it's too late to back out now, now that I'm just a few months away from graduating. I don't wanna disappoint everyone including myself for giving up when obviously I'm 'this' close to finally finish it.

During times like this, I just want to have my high school best friend around. She's one of the few (I tell you very, very, very few) people I cry my heart out to whenever I'm feeling so down and filling my mind with stupid self-pity thoughts. I tell you she's awesome. Before, whenever I feel like I was about to explode I cry my heart out with her, she never really says anything she just sits there silently listening to me wailing about stuff and then when she thinks I’m calm enough she would usually give me that look (the one that says, everything is gonna be alright look). I really miss those moments or better yet, I miss her company, I miss my friend that’s been there for me especially at times like this.

I suddenly want to be in highschool again, back to the time when I have someone to share my thoughts to, the time when I know I'm not gonna cry alone. Right now, I feel like highschool’s been a lifetime ago. Guess I’m really getting old. This is such an emo post but it's fine since nobody is gonna read this anyway.

deadlines

I think one of the most stressing times in a college life (or maybe not just in college) is when deadlines are fast approaching, especially if you haven't done anything yet. I think a lot of people can relate with this.

This has been an on going trend with me and my friends. I really don't know why we like to wait for adrenaline to rush in before we start working. I know it's not a healthy practice (it never was), 'coz when deadlines come  we panic though we usually make ourselves believe that our "crammed" work is always better than the ones we did way before the deadline. That for a fact is true, ask my friends and they'll probably tell you the same thing. However, right now I have to really get things done, that is if I want to graduate on time. I need to follow the work schedule I have set for myself or else...... I don't even wanna think about the or else part... ^-^

the 90's and early 2000

For some reason, I find myself listening to music released in the 90's and early 2000. For me, the 90's was the best decade to be a kid, the best decade for music (boy bands and all), tv shows (sesame street), and most of all cartoons (HAHAHA). I'm so happy to be a 90's kid.

This is one of the things I'm listening to, courtesy of youtube:

parts of a whole (again)

I'm fascinated still with taking a photo apart and putting them back together.

I'm calling this one, "Landscape?"... ^-^

parts of a whole

I find taking a photo apart and making a new one using those pieces fun, just like what I did in my post a few days ago. So, I decided to make some more.

Plus, I find the outcome nice.... :)

boredom

I was bored last night so while I was randomly looking for things to do, I came across this photo so as creative instincts dictated I took parts of this photo and made a collage-ish photo.

...and this is the result:

It's awesome what boredom brings....

*just for the curious, I actually used MS Paint for this. :)

I don't know if the subject Philosophy is already warming up to me or I'm just bored (HAHA). The thing is I kind of thought about this (I'll call it) "thing". The "thing" I'm talking about is that usually if not most of the time, people consider themselves as protagonists of their lives. I mean it is pretty normal, right? I think, no one would consider his/herself the antagonist of his/her own life story it's usually some other people, unless maybe he/she has a problem or something. However, the funny thing is that most of the time we never really know whether others think of us as the antagonists. :

A prelude to night

I find looking at the night sky awesome. I mean, the colors of the sky that resulted from the exchange of light from the setting sun with night's darkness is just awesome. XD

funniest joke ever

This joke is from a newspaper clip my sister used to collect before (back in the 90's). So, here goes:

A new minister at his first service was so nervous he could hardly speak. After the service, he asked the senior pastor how he had done. The elder minister replied, “When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip.” So, the next Sunday he took the minister’s advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon returning to his office after mass he found the following note on his door:

• ·         Sip the vodka, don’t gulp.
• ·         There are 10 Commandments, not 12.
• ·         There are 12 disciples, not 10.
• ·         Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
• ·         Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
• ·         The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and Spook.
• ·         David slew Goliath, he did not kick the **** out of him.
• ·         When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, don’t say he was stoned off his ass.
• ·         We do not refer to the cross as the big T!
• ·         The recommended grace before meals is not: “Rub-a-dub-dub thanks for the grub, yeah God.”
•          Lastly, next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter’s, not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy’s.
• 
  

 [HAHAHAHAHA]

New Year whatever

I wanna make a post for new year but then again as usual as I start to write something thoughts stop pouring in, which ends in me not being able to write anything. So, what does one write for new year? Well usually, resolutions, things to do, goals to be achieved within the year, and things that happened in the year before. Using those as guides what exactly can I write? (...thinking...)

then I thought maybe I'll just continue this post some other time.... (^-^) probably next year