drama

I hate those days when you feel so alone, the time when all your problems haunt your thoughts simultaneously and you have no one to talk those things to.  Well, this is one of those days. I’m a pessimist and I know that (but I don’t know if other people know it), though I do strive hard to think positively especially around people I care. I just don’t want them to worry that I myself am worrying. However, I think I also spill negative sides on things when it’s needed if not often enough (HAHA).

Like I said earlier, today was on of those I call "drama" days of my life when I ask myself the stupid question I have been bugging myself for four years now. Why did I decided to take this course in the first place? I don't think I'm cut out for this but it's too late to back out now, now that I'm just a few months away from graduating. I don't wanna disappoint everyone including myself for giving up when obviously I'm 'this' close to finally finish it.

During times like this, I just want to have my high school best friend around. She's one of the few (I tell you very, very, very few) people I cry my heart out to whenever I'm feeling so down and filling my mind with stupid self-pity thoughts. I tell you she's awesome. Before, whenever I feel like I was about to explode I cry my heart out with her, she never really says anything she just sits there silently listening to me wailing about stuff and then when she thinks I’m calm enough she would usually give me that look (the one that says, everything is gonna be alright look). I really miss those moments or better yet, I miss her company, I miss my friend that’s been there for me especially at times like this.

I suddenly want to be in highschool again, back to the time when I have someone to share my thoughts to, the time when I know I'm not gonna cry alone. Right now, I feel like highschool’s been a lifetime ago. Guess I’m really getting old. This is such an emo post but it's fine since nobody is gonna read this anyway.