I don't want to write this entry

I don't want to write stuff about frustrations even if though I'm frustrated now. I don't want to sound like an annoying, super emotional b*****, and I don't want to list down all the things I don't want here...... but guess what, that is exactly what I'm doing now.

Yes! I have a lot of "don't wants" in my life. Who doesn't? No matter how I try to look for reasons, no matter how I try to understand things, no matter how I analyze things, I can't seem to convince myself into liking the stuff I don't.  

I usually try to not be affected with things not going well so that I won't get frustrated but sometimes I can't seem to hide the fact that I am. It's hard to keep on telling people that it's okay, that I'm okay because I'm not gonna be always okay.  and yet I still I tell them that I am so that I my stupid sadness, frustrations, and hurt won't have to bother them. I don't ...

Sometimes I want to shout  to let it all out, for the world to know what I feel and how I feel inside. But I always end up crying in my room all alone curled up like a snail. 

Just like anyone else, I dream to live a happy life even if I know that it can't always be bright sunshines and pretty rainbows. I want to be happy and live my life looking at the good things, the bright side of life but sadness I can't escape just like an unexpected drizzle in the midst of summer. however, I calm myself by hoping that after all the storm life throws at me there will be a time (hopefully soon) the sun will shine and everything will be okay.